My girl and I were doing it doggy style, when all of a sudden I hear the door open. Her dog basically jumped on me and bite while in an attempt to “protect” her? I had to get stitches on my butt. Gay
[By: Zero G]

I was walking to my car when I saw a homeless guy on the street. I still had half of my subway sandwich so I went over to give it to him. He threw it back at me and said he wanted money not food. Gay
[By: Numero 1]

Today my brother brought home his new girlfriend. She looks like a man. Gay
[By: Heidi]

About a week ago this guy came out of nowhere and punched me in the face. He then looked at me and apologized saying that I looked like the guy his girlfriend cheated on him with. I got a broken nose out of it. Gay
[By: Natzu]

Today I found a coupon code for 50 % off on a certain clothing website. I spent 3 hours looking for clothes that I would like, and when I finally went to check out I realized the code was expired. Gay
[By: Shopgirl]

Today I spent to get ketchup out of my ketchup bottle at the restaurant. After two minutes I got frustrated and told the waitress that it wasn’t coming out. She told me the bottle was painted and that it was out so she would bring me some more. I’ve never felt so stupid. Gay
[By: Captain Ketchup]

A while ago, a really cute international student ended up sitting right next to me in one of my classes. She was Asian and didn’t seem like she could understand English real well so I started talking to her. I enunciated every one of my words, made lots of hand gestures, and talked extremely slow. She kept staring at me with a clueless look on her face so I kept going on. Finally, she said in perfect English: “Stop talking to me like I’m retarded. I’m the TA for this class”. Gay.

I have 8 sisters. They’re all spoiled housewives with kids. I’m single and work as a janitor. I have to save up for two months just to buy all 10,000 of my nieces and nephews Christmas presents. Gay.

My friend bet me to drink 5 glasses of milk back to back for 30 bucks. I was short on money so I took the bet thinking nothing would happen. WRONG, I threw up all over the place. Gay
[By: milky]

I bought a new cologne from the store, and without thinking I just took it out of the box and put it on. They gave me the wrong thing, I got girls perfume instead that looked pretty similar to the cologne I wanted. I ended up smelling like a girl all day. Gay
[By: Jimbo]

I was at a really important meeting and I had to go pee really bad. When the meeting was over and I rushed to the bathroom, I pulled my pants down and couldn’t hold it so half my pee covered my pants. Gay
[By: hours]

I just bought milk the other day and I was eating my last bit of cereal. After a couple of bites I realized the milk was spoiled and started throwing up on my floor. Gay
[By: No2cows]

Today I saw my grandmother for the first time in years. I went to take a nap and found out my parents had left her with me. In addition, she took my keys and car and left me stranded there all day. Gay
[By: juvia]

I’m a recovering drug addict. I got pulled over by the police and was taken in because they thought I was doing drugs. Gay
[By: weeeed]

I was walking on the street talking on my iphone when this guy runs by and slaps my hand down. He yelled out “F IPHONES!” I was so shocked I didn’t even chase after him, I just stared at my broken, non-insured Iphone on the ground. Gay
[By: RIP Iphone]

I was playing wii boxing with my brother when he accidentally hit me in the head. It was nothing, and I didn’t even feel it so we kept playing. Ten minutes later I collapsed and was taken to the hospital. I somehow got a concussion from a wii remote which was controlled by a 9 year old. Gay
[By: wiiiiii]