My best friend won a decent amount of money with a lottery scratch ticket and thinks that I want his money. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. Gay
[By: Lui]
My friend and I got pulled over and just as the cop was about to let us off with a warning, he says “can I keep my weed?” He doesn’t know when not to joke around. We were strip searched in the middle of the road. Gay
[By: Superman]
I was cutting up some cardboard with a friend and my blade was not cutting very well. I asked him if I could borrow his knife. He opened his backback, and he he pulled the knife out, I saw the head of a dildo. Gay
[By: Wowow]
I went to a concert with my best friend, and we both drank a little before we got there. She kissed me, and now my boyfriend wants a threesome. Gay
[By: not a lesbo]
This is the biggest news of the year. Obama is a robot!! The next terminator!!!!! He will be invading the your homes, sitting in your kids toy drawer and then attack once you fall asleep! Or maybe that was some other movie… toy… wars…. mini soldiers…. toy story?
Anyway, this action packed Obama doll is sure to scare your friends away or at least make them think you’re creepy. Not that they already don’t, because they all saw you at that geeky anime convention last year, yea we know you dressed as pikachu!
Every time my mother and I get into a fight she cries and tells me how worthless I am and how I never help. One time she even called my boss and asked him to fire me. I’ve been paying for her house for the past 2 years. Gay
[By: Chulo]
I make a living as a pizza delivery guy. My girlfriend is ashamed to introduce me to her parents. Gay
[By: I Have a heart 2]
Today I found a coupon code for 50 % off on a certain clothing website. I spent 3 hours looking for clothes that I would like, and when I finally went to check out I realized the code was expired. Gay
[By: Shopgirl]
Today I spent to get ketchup out of my ketchup bottle at the restaurant. After two minutes I got frustrated and told the waitress that it wasn’t coming out. She told me the bottle was painted and that it was out so she would bring me some more. I’ve never felt so stupid. Gay
[By: Captain Ketchup]
My girlfriend dumped me because she says I eat too much pizza and gained too much weight. She was the one who always bought pizza and gained 40lbs since we met. Gay
[By: Wacarnolds]
I spent 3 days at the hospital with my girlfriend. She just had a baby. The baby was white, am black. I was so relieved. Gay
[By: LoneG]
Today I parked 10 minutes away from campus because I couldn’t find any parking. I get to class, then realize I forgot my backpack in my car. Gay
[By: Frida]
I went to my medicine cabinet to get a bandaid to cover a paper cut I just got. While I was pulling out a bandaid, I got another paper cut. Gay
[By: James]
